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Casual Saturdays: Review of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2 stars) August 2, 2008

Posted by lotrking in Casual Days.
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Overall rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Straying from the world of comics for a moment, I thought I’d take a crack at reviewing this. Sad to say, I was extremely disappointed by this movie. I loved the first two (four our of five stars in my book, both of ‘em, with the second being slightly better) and I realized that this one would be significantly different what with a new Mummy (and a new Evy) but I didn’t realize that it would be significantly less entertaining.

It starts out with an interesting enough premise. An ancient Chinese emperor gained control over the five elements (fire, earth, water, wood, and metal) through sorcery and after taking control of all of China, his next goal was the world. Knowing that he could not possibly live long enough to see this accomplished, he wished to live forever, and hearing of a witch who knew the secrets of immortality, he sent his most trusted general to find her. Of course, said witch is anything but an old hag and both the general and the emperor desire her when they first see her. Long story short, the general sleeps with her, the jealous emperor commands that he be given immortality or the general will die, she seemingly grants it to him, but he kills the general anyway, only to be revealed that she cursed the emperor and his large army as they all turn to stone.

Alex, now an adult and archeologist in his own right, discovers the emperor’s tomb and eventually the Mummy (if you can even call him that, seeing as he’s covered in stone) is awoken. While this sounds similar to the first two Mummy movies, I was willing to run with it, and enjoy it. It all turns downhill about half-way through the movie. As Rick and family are fighting this Mummy and his minions in a village which will show the way to Shangri-La, a ninja chick (introduced earlier in the movie, allied with the O’Connells, who cheesily falls in love with Alex) runs to an archway and shouts some cheesy line (something along the lines of “We’re in trouble! Come save us!”) only to have three Yeti come out of nowhere and help out the good guys. Now I knew there was going to be at least one Yeti in the movie from the previews, but I assumed he would be guarding a sacred tomb, or something, and must be defeated. Instead there are three Yeti who come when called to save the good guys.

Unfortunately, the movie just gets more ridiculous from there. Add to the fact that the aforementioned ninja chick can’t act and has an annoying voice, that Rick and this new Evy have no chemistry whatsoever, and that most of the plot points are similar to the first two movies or even occasionally a couple other random movies, and you have a failed film. I was looking forward to this movie so much. “The final great film of an awesome movie summer, this will be,” said I. But unfortunately, I was very wrong. To anyone who enjoyed the first two Mummy movies as much as I did, do yourself a favor and try to pretend that this one doesn’t exist.